Warning: this is unedited, first draft material. Hope you enjoy, but don’t be surprised to find horrible spelling, telling instead of showing, and other instances of bad writing.
I appreciate honest thoughts on my writing, and you’re welcome to share an excerpt from your own WIP in the comments if you dare.
A Short Excerpt From Jimmy
Analia closed her eyes. She loved this song. She moved back and forth and forgot for a moment all of her worries.
Then, somebody touched her shoulder. She turned around but continued to sway.
It was a guy. A cute guy. A senior by the look of him.
“Hi,” he said. “I see you could use a dancing partner. How about a dance or two with me?”
She looked him up and down. He knew how to dress himself, that was for sure. He was the gangster type, but clean. He had a crew cut and a square jaw. A nice smile, too. He looked like that senior some of her friends talked about. She didn’t really know him but passed him on the hallways once in a while.
“What do you say? I promise I won’t bite.”
She turned around and looked at Jimmy. He gave a slight nod as he twirled Mayra to the music.
“Is that your boyfriend?” the guy asked.
“My little brother,” she responded.
He nodded. “Hm.”
He offered his hand and she took it with a smile. He led her to an open space in the floor.
He put one hand on her hip and took her other hand. She put her free hand on his shoulder.
She felt butterflies in her stomach. She had to confess that when a guy asked her to dance it was a confidence booster.
They danced together.
“I’m Carlos, by the way,” he said loudly to be heard over the deafening music. “What’s your name?”
That smile would simply not come off his face.
“Ana. Analia.” She smiled back. Their eyes met and she blushed. She turned away to look at something else, anything else. She glanced back at him, and saw his smile had grown even wider.
“You’re beautiful.” He mouthed. She could barely hear him say it, but the look on his face said it all.
They came closer together. He put both of his hands around her hips, and she put both of her arms around his neck. She could feel his warm breath on her neck, and she felt her heart race. So this is what it feels like to fall in love, she thought.
Working Title: Jimmy (You learn more about what it’s about here (link))
Current Word Count: 26,065
Total Word Count Goal: ~60,000
Progress Report: I haven’t worked on this story too much lately. I’m definitely not making as much progress as I would like. My initial aim was to finish by the end of the year.
Then, I got this shiny new idea and decided I wanted to finish by the end of October so that I could start revising my first novel. Then I’d be free to start my third novel by the beginning of 2013. To do that, I would have had to write 500 words a day four days a week.
However, I got stuck on my story (so much for trying to pants it). I had no idea where it was going, which stalled me. I had to go back, really think about what the story was, and plot accordingly.
So now I’m behind, and that daily word count goal is almost at two thousand,. I don’t think I’ll be finishing by late October after all. So I’m back to aiming at finishing this story by Decemberish. Slow and steady wins the race, right? Although I do seem to be taking that to the extreme lately…
How’s your work in progress coming along? What issues are you struggling with? We’d love to read a snippet from your own WIP.