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I write in secret. Shhh.
I can count the people who know I’m a writer on one hand and still have a few fingers left over.
In other words, a total of two people know my ultimate dream and goal is to become a full-time writer. Only one (my fiance) really knows that I am actively working towards that goal.
The only reason he knows is because it’s kinda hard to hide the fact that you signed up for a challenge to write fifty thousand words in thirty days. The dishes and laundry were piling up, I guess.
Why all the secrecy?
I guess it boils down to fear. I’m afraid of being made fun or ridiculed. I think, my family and friends won’t understand my love of writing just like they didn’t understand my love for books growing up.
I’m also afraid of saying that I’m a writer, and that it won’t ever amount to anything after all. I should only announce I’m a writer out loud if I’m already published and successful, right? Kinda like counting my chicks before they hatch, I guess.
The weird thing is that I’m not afraid to be my writer self on the web. For some reason, it feels safer to be a writer online. In fact, I wish I had declared myself a writer here sooner because I have found all kinds of friendly support and resources to help me reach my writing goals.
Not telling anyone that I’m a writer is a little like having two lives. I write my stories. I blog, tweet, and post on my Facebook page about writing (I hope my family and friends never discover that!). Then I log off and take care of my daughter, eat rice and tortillas, and ask my mom in Spanish how she’s doing.
Part of me wishes I could tell them. But I don’t think I ever will.
Well, maybe I’ll mention it someday if one of my novels becomes a NYT bestseller or something. Or maybe one of my siblings will come across my books one day and call me demanding I tell them why I never let them know that I was writing books in between raising a child and finishing college.
The one thing I don’t like about my friends and family not knowing that I’m a writer is that I might be missing out on the emotional support other writers get. That might change my mind about telling my loved ones in the future.
But I think there are also some advantages to my friends and family not knowing that I write novels in my spare time.
1. They don’t nag me about why my book isn’t a NYT bestseller/movie yet.
2. They don’t tell me writing is a waste of time because I’m not making money off of it.
3. It’s kind of fun to keep my writing a secret. One day, I wonder if they really will come up to me, with one of my books in their hands, and ask me why the heck I didn’t tell them before.
Until then, I’ll unleash my love for writing on Scrivener, notebooks I hide around the house, this blog, Twitter, and Facebook. I don’t think that makes me any less of a writer.
Should I spill the beans? How many of you keep your writing a secret? Or do your friends and family know you’re a writer? How did they react? Do you regret telling them?
Hi Yesenia,
Sometimes it’s just fun to feel like you have a delicious secret – you’re writing and no one knows. It gives you a bit of mystery and swagger – “If only they knew my secret power.” So the question of telling family and friends comes down to whether you believe they will be supportive or critical. Go for all the support you can get, but be aware there will always be someone who gives you grief. When that happens just remember it’s their problem. Don’t accept their issues, don’t own their hurtful remarks. Go talk to someone who can lift you up.
It looks like you are well on the way to having to reveal your secret… one of those books you’re working on is going to sell before you know it, and the cat will be out of the bag. Just smile like Mona Lisa when everyone says, “Why, Yesenia, I didn’t have any idea you were a writer.” You go girl!
Suzanne,
“If only they knew my secret power”
Haha. That is a great way to describe it. That’s how I see this right now, anyway. One of my friends discovered my fan page (and liked it!) a few days ago so I guess it is just a matter of time before everyone I know knows I’m a writer. I’m a little nervous, but I think it will also be a weight off my shoulders, you know?
This is such an inspirational and encouraging comment. Thanks so much for taking the time to say these things. They truly mean a lot to me
You’re welcome, Yesenia. Keep on believing in yourself.