On Saturday, I was tagged in the Lucky 7 Meme by EM Castellan.
Here are the rules:
1. Go to page 7 or 77 of your current WIP.
2. Go to line 7.
3. Copy down the next 7 lines (sentences or paragraphs) and post them as they’re written.
4. Tag 7 authors and let them know.
Here is a 7-paragraph excerpt from the short story I’m working on. It’s only three pages so I started at the seventh paragraph instead. Please share your honest thoughts on it!
She wondered when Hector would be home. It was getting late, and she missed him. Then she realized she hadn’t even started dinner yet. He wouldn’t be mad, but he often got home just as tired as her. She felt bad for him when she didn’t have dinner ready for him because he certainly deserved better. He worked twelve-hour shifts six days a week to keep a roof over their heads, buy the groceries, and pay the bills.
She had had to quit her job at the gas station to stay home with the baby. She could go back to work in a few weeks, but she didn’t think she would do so. She made so little working, it wasn’t worth it to pay day care for the baby.
And her family didn’t leave close by. Not that someone in her family would likely offer to babysit. They all had lives of their own.
Maybe that was one reason she had left home so young.
She began dozing off, halfway between sleep and here. She began to dream even though she was still aware of the baby breathing against her chest.
She didn’t know how much time had passed when suddenly she felt a sickening panic inside of her, like she had forgotten something terribly important. She opened her eyes and saw that the setting sun was no longer in the sky. Instead, the black night had taken over.
Her heart was pounding, and she didn’t know why. She looked down at the baby. He seemed pale. Had she suffocated him in her sleep? She pulled back and put her hand on his chest.
I’ll break the rules a bit now by only tagging one author for the next Lucky 7 meme: Lauren Waters. I’d love to read what she’s working on!
Thanks again for the tag, EM Castellan! This was fun (although a bit scary!) Again, I’d love to know what you thought about the snippet.
What are you working on right now? Mind sharing a snippet of your current WIP?
Oh my!!!! What happens next?! I need to know now!! That’s a great excerpt Yesenia, I’m glad you decided to share it
The only thing that I would change is the following sentence:”she felt a sickening panic inside of her”. I would drop the “inside of her” part, it seems a bit redundant to me. Other than that, great job!
It’s a relief to hear that! Thanks for the input
I’d love to send you the full story if you’re interested once I’m done revising. I want as much honest feedback as I can get!
I’d love to read it and give you some feedback… Feel free to send it my way once it’s finished, I’ll be honoured to be trusted with this task
Thanks, EM! I appreciate that! Same here
I’m intrigued. Your 7th paragraph turned out to be just the right place to begin to hook us.
Check your sentence about her family “living” close by.
Good job, Yesenia!
I guess that’s why it’s called “lucky,” huh?
I’m actually revising the story right now, and I just caught that! Thanks!